


Empty Spaces

by leechbaby



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Developing Relationship, Drunk Sex, Eventual Happy Ending, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Power Dynamics, Roommates, Slow Burn, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:55:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22243696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leechbaby/pseuds/leechbaby
Summary: “Well he’s apparently not a hard sell. It just makes me feel like a pity fuck, you know?”Felix sighs. “You’re not a pity fuck. Besides...aren’t you kind of into that kinda thing anyway?” Hyunjin throws a shoe at his head.____Or how Hyunjin deals with his crush, who happens to be his best friend and also his roommate, while trying not to jump his bones.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 11
Kudos: 112





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> there's some F/M towards the middle but i didn't feel like tagging it bc it's not very explicit (at least not to my standards) and bc it doesn't really influence the overall plot.

Hyunjin loves his friends. He really does. But spending his first Friday night free (from lit papers he had been dreading to work on) in a club full of drunk students, is highly unpleasant. The club was not very low key to begin with since it’s close to campus and well, because it’s Friday. There were waves of people grinding and falling over their feet and sucking each other's faces. Hardly any dancing going on. Hyunjin liked having a drink every now and then, but not when he was surrounded with students who were beyond smashed and reeked of sweat and smoke and existential dread.

He’s not even in the mood to drink. He’s about to get up from his seat and find Felix when a familiar hand snakes around his neck- “ _Chill out_ ” Minho whispers to him, before pushing him back onto the sticky leather sofa and places two drinks on the table. Tequila. The Hangover’s Apprentice. And definitely not on his agenda tonight.

“I was _about to_ before you came over here and ruined my plans” Hyunjin sighs, not even bothering to look up. He knows what Minho’s plan is. Always looking for somebody to get as equally fucked up he is. He doesn’t like drinking alone and he doesn’t like having hangovers alone either. And Hyunjin seemed like a convenient victim, apparently. 

“C’mon…after I so graciously paid for this drink you’re not even gonna enjoy it? That’s not very nice of you” Minho coos at him, obviously half drunk already. _Jesus_. They’ve only been here for an hour.

“Why don’t you go find someone else to torture, hmm? Do I not suffer enough through my daily life with you?” 

He felt Minho chuckle against his chest. Wait. How’d he get there? 

  
“Dance with me” Minho says, looking up at him.

“There’s plenty of people here for you to dance with. Go make acquaintances. You’re good at that” Hyunjin replied, looking around the place.

“But all I want is what’s sitting right in front of me.” 

The words give him whiplash and he tries not to think about why. At least not right now, because Minho has pulled him further into the booth, straddling his waist. He doesn’t want to retaliate. Because he knows how this goes. He always wants more of what he can’t have. All of that flies out the window when he feels warm fingers on his back, his chest, his neck, his _mouth_. He attends to Minho’s finger in his mouth very messily, licking and sucking again his tongue and his teeth. 

Hyunjin moans quietly around his finger when Minho takes a fistful of his hair and _pulls_. He keens when lips suddenly suck around his neck and teeth start to dig in. He closes his eyes and leans into it, losing himself in the sensation. He adds another. Minho’s fingers stuffs into his cheeks, pulling, and Hyunjin moans around it because having his mouth full feels good.

  
He sucks around it, letting Minho’s fingers slip in and out of his wet mouth. Minho has that look in his eyes. Telling him that he should be ashamed of this — that he’s getting _off_ on this. He loathes that look. He _loves_ that look. He says none of that though and just grinds their hips closer together. Rocking up into him because well, he’s obviously _horny_.

He gags when Minho shoves in deeper and it hurts and he wants to do _that_ again but Minho pulls his fingers out and drags it across his lips and pulls him into an open kiss. He _wants_. He knows he shouldn’t. Minho’s mouth is warm against his. He purposely doesn’t think about how much he likes that, he just lets himself enjoy it.

  
The hand in his hair tightens and his breath hitches in surprise, from the bruising force, but he moans and melts into it easily. He always does.

  
It’s when he leans in even closer, searching for friction, when Minho’s hand tugs at his belt that he snaps out of it and shoves Minho off of him with a failed attempt. “Not here.”

“Oh so _now_ you’re shy.” Minho huffs out finally taking his other hand out of his hair and brushes through it, softly.

“Shut up.” He retaliated, but Minho just smiled against his chest. 

  
“I’m gonna get another drink.” Minho whispers to him, already getting up to leave, giving him a kiss on his forehead. 

  
Hyunjin fixes his shirt and downs the drink still sitting on the table. He carries himself through the wards of people, making his way to the bar seeing a familiar face. 

  
He sits down on an empty barstool and taps his fingers on the sticky counter. “Where’s Lix?” He asks Chan, who’s softly swaying (very off beat) to the trap song blaring through the air.

  
“Didn’t come.” Chan replied, eyes still closed.

  
“Fucking deadbeat” Hyunjin sulked to no one in particular. “I need him. Minho is annoying me.”

  
“Well he’s certainly not annoying _you_ right now.” Chan chuckled, sipping his drink.

Hyunjin blinked, _confused_. “What-“ He looks over to where Chan was gesturing. _Oh_. Well he certainly did get _acquainted_. There Minho was, already sucking face with a brunette, smiling despite having his tongue down her throat. She’s pretty. He suddenly feels very inadequate. And also very stupid. 

“He looks like he’s having fun. You should too. C’mon lighten up, Jinnie” Chan nips at him, oblivious to the dark clouds currently looming above Hyunjin’s head.

“Right.” Of course he is. He hopes Minho doesn’t have any plans to take this girl back to the apartment because Minho has no common courtesy when it comes to their shared space. And he also does _not_ feel like making awkward morning conversations with his best friend’s hookup while he’s asleep without a care in the world. That’s totally the only reason he feels uneasy right now and not because he just saw Minho leave the club with somebody. And with that thought in mind he decides to get shitfaced instead.

* * *

Okay so he did not get sloppy drunk. _Thank God_ , but he _is_ tipsy and is suddenly very thankful that Chan called them a taxi despite his protests that he’s fine to walk back to his apartment since it’s not very far from the club. 

  
He’s very confused suddenly, when he walks in and the lights are on, before he remembers that Minho is already here. 

  
After switching off the living room light, he toes off his shoes by the door, wobbles through the dimly lit hallway and goes to check on Minho, stopping in his tracks when he reaches the doorframe, when he sees that _yes_ Minho is in fact already here, but also sees that he’s here with someone. A girl.

_He squints._ The girl from the club. And it’s kind of hard not to notice when _said girl_ is very naked on the bed. And then there was also Minho, surprisingly not very naked, right between her legs. Face first. He had one hand gripping her thigh and the other one- _God-_ he couldn’t believe this shit, _clearly_ between her thighs, finger-fucking her as he was eating her out.

Unsure if he's annoyed or turned on (or both) he breathes out and makes to leave, not bothering to quiet down his footsteps, since they were too _involved_ with each other to notice him anyway.

Well on the bright side, at least they don’t share a room, he thinks to himself shutting his bedroom door behind him, throwing himself on the bed.

He has no right to be upset. Minho is a sexual being (he knows that _very_ well) in his prime. He’s young and sexy. They’re not in a relationship. They’re friends. This is _stupid_. He has no business being jealous. He wishes he knew what to do. It’s not like he can avoid Minho. God they _live_ together. He sighs tugging his hands through his hair and remembers who else’s hands was in his hair and where they are _now_. He suddenly feels disgusting. He has to stop doing this.

* * *

He wakes up with a headache. Not a hangover, _thank god_ , but just an irritating throbbing in his skull. His bed is warm. _Too_ warm. The sun’s already out, hitting his back in ladders through the blinds. He checks his phone— 11:24 am, that’s a bit late even for him. 

He gets up and makes his way to the bathroom, not bothering to check on Minho for obvious reasons. He takes a cold shower, hoping it will sober him up a bit, from the sweat and grime, the smell of last night, _the ache in his gut._

  
When he steps out and checks himself in the mirror he regrets it immediately. He scrubs a hand over his face and trails his fingers over his neck, littered with hickeys and bruises that’s already reddening, mocking him.

  
It’s way too hot for a scarf or a turtle neck. He grabs his concealer from the sink, applying it onto his neck until it turns back into pale flesh, as if nothing ever happened.   
He dries himself off and throws something on, deciding he needs to get out of his own head for a while.

Grabbing his phone before he leaves he peers into Minho’s room. He’s not there. _Figures_.

* * *

It’s a short walk from the apartment to campus. He still doesn’t understand why anyone would want to live in the dorms. He truly aches and burns for them. It’s overcrowded and always reeks of cough syrup and he cannot stand the common bathrooms.

  
He makes his way to Felix’s dorm, expecting him to be alone since his roommate is almost never there. He doesn’t bother knocking when he enters. The worst he's caught Felix doing is play an interactive my little pony game (which they've both decided to never speak of) so he's not too worried. 

  
He finds Felix still tucked away under the covers, scrolling through his phone.

  
“Hey”, Felix spoke softly, not looking up from the screen. He muttered a weak hello back and settled himself down on the edge of the bed. 

  
“Why did you leave me alone with him last night? This is your fault”, Hyunjin whined throwing his head back against the wall.

  
“Sorry, I meant to call but I fell asleep” Felix replied, nudging him with a socked foot. “Wait what do you mean my fault?”

  
“I walked in on him going down on a girl last night.” That’s when Felix looked up. 

“No way. That’s hot.” Felix’s eyes widened with this profoundly new bizarre information.

Hyunjin gave him a sardonic frown.

  
Felix straightens up and pushes himself back against one of the pillows. “Sorry …you okay?” Felix asks him, looking all concerned. He _hates_ that look. Hyunjin sinks down onto the floor. 

  
The carpet was soft.

  
“No… _I don’t know?_ ” He replies, sighing. “Well he’s apparently not a hard sell. It just makes me feel like a pity fuck, you know?” He says, not bothering to mention the club incident (because why would he).

  
“You’re not a pity fuck. Besides..aren’t you kind of into that anyway?”

Hyunjin throws a shoe at his head.

It hits him with a smack. “Have you considered, you know, _not_ fucking around with him?” Felix tries again, rubbing his forehead.

  
“That’s not the problem here.” ( _it was_.)

Felix rolls his eyes at him. “You could also try telling him how you feel.”

  
“That’s an awful idea” Hyunjin said, staring at him as if Felix just insulted him.

  
“He could hate me. Or worse he’ll reject me. And then it would be awkward. I could _die_.” He says, feigning ignorance.

  
“You’re so dramatic” Felix shot back at him. “What if I just set you up with someone? So you can bother someone else with your heart-shattering crush problems instead…Is he _really_ that special?”

“He’s _different_ ,” Hyunjin found himself saying without even thinking about it, catching himself off guard.

  
Felix glared at him from the bed. “ _Everyone_ is different dumbass.”

  
“Besides...it doesn’t matter who I hook up with because I’ll just end up comparing them to him anyway and it would be even worse. You know how my brain is.” Hooking up with someone to avoid his feelings for Minho would only make him feel guilty. And casual encounters is no way to deal with all his pent up shit. It's what got him here in the first place. He hates this hold that Minho has over him. Mostly because he knows how irrational this apparent hold is because Minho doesn't even know it exists.

  
His life fucking sucked. He hates this feeling. It feels like he's being held underwater with nothing to grab onto.

  
“Ugh” He groaned quietly from the floor, irritated with his misplaced anger. He feels tired. Groggy. _Sad_. He flops back onto the bed and buried his face into the pillows as he tries not think about how he got into this mess in the first place.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life comes at you fast. That's the best excuse Hyunjin can come up with for Minho currently being balls deep inside of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no excuse for how late this is but irl stuff got in the way, you know?

The thing is Hyunjin knows exactly how he got here. The whole debacle kind of hurts his pride. It’s worse when he’s with Minho, because it’s not like he has much to begin with anyway. He feels like they’ll never reach the point of civility if they don’t stop sleeping together. It’s been a little more than a month ago since they’d last had sex. So it’s going pretty great. In fact, Hyunjin wasn’t planning on letting his dick think for him ever again. He decided it like it’s some war declaration. He scoffs to no one in particular.

The heat is unforgiving. He’s slumped under a tree trying to steal a bit of shade, but it’s not helping. A few people hurry past him, their footsteps drowned out by the sound of their chatter. He’s _tired_. There’s so much going on and yet nothing at all and it turns his brain into soup. Things are weird between him and Minho. 

Lately they’ve both been on edge around each other. He knows they’ve both had a part to play in this. And they’re both also stupidly waiting for this tension to fizzle out by itself. Trying to put some distance in between them would surely help. Hyunjin knows he should just try and get over this. So why doesn’t it feel better? Why does he still feel like he’s doing something wrong? He wants to assume Minho isn’t doing any better either. Lately they’ll hang out together and maybe just watch tv or have dinner with the rest of the group and not much gets said between the two of them, but it all just feels obligatory.

They also haven’t really seen much of each other in like more than a week, which is really saying something because _well_ …they live together. But Hyunjin’s been holed up in his room cramming and attempting to finish all his finals. He got the job done and it’s his last day on campus even through there’s technically still a week left, these buildings won’t see his sorry face till next semester. 

He’s pulled out of his thoughts when he feels something cool being pressed against his cheek. He looks up at Felix handing him a juice box.

“Thanks.” 

Felix hums in acknowledgement. He looks like he’s wigging out, which is weird because he always looks bored. And no one can look bored better than Felix. Maybe the heat’s getting to him too.

“I hope you’re not as tired as you look. You’re hosting a party in a few hours.” 

Hyunjin peers up at him from where he’s sitting. The shadow of the tree is obscuring Felix’s face weirdly. “What? _No_.”

Felix eyes him as he sips his own drink. “I’m not asking you, I’m _telling_ you.” 

“Who put you up to this?” 

“Did you not check the group chat? We have to get ice” Felix states, ignoring his rebuttal.

“Unbelievable.” 

Felix just stares at him like, _duh_ and stretches out a hand for him to get up.

*

He waits outside the store as the heat finally dies down. Felix comes stumbling out, emerging with three brown bags.

“You said a _few_ people” Hyunjin recalls, peering into the bags. Lots of cups.

“Yes that’s what people usually say” Felix deadpans, like it’s something obvious. “Will you stop complaining?”

“Fine. But I’m not happy about it.” Hyunjin sighs. It’s gonna be a long night.

* * *

They’re late because Felix insisted on grabbing a bite to eat first. When they get back to the apartment it’s a full house. The music is hella loud. Then he spots the culprit. _Jisung_. He already knows what happened. The fucker just can’t keep anything lowkey. He’s always “accidentally” inviting people to everything. But Hyunjin knows he’s not the only one to blame. The only way Jisung got here is through Felix. They’re not called the disaster twins for nothing. Why the hell do these two know so many people anyway?

“You’re _both_ staying over because I’m not cleaning this shit up in the morning,” he gestures to both Felix and Jisung.

He makes his way to say his hellos and set down the supplies, but his attention is taken away from this task when he feels a tug on his sleeve and an arm wrap around his shoulder. He knew who it was, smiling to himself as he turned around.

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes. Come here let me help” Changbin says, taking some of the load of his hands. He’s apparently playing host too.

“Did you know about this?” Hyunjin asks as he’s being pulled into the kitchen. Chan’s there too, but he looks too fucked up to be helping. He’s just standing there dipping chips into _several_ dips and into his mouth. It’d be better for everyone here if he just stays in one place.

“I did” Changbin answers softly, unpacking the contents of the bags. “Minho didn’t tell you?”

“No. (He decides not to say why exactly that is because what Changbin doesn’t know won’t kill him. Bless his heart.) I feel awfully lied to if you must know” Hyunjin pouts, eyeing the irresponsible amounts of alcohol plastering the counter. “Where is he anyway?”

“Lying by omission” Changbin laughs out, fixing up a drink. “And he’s not here yet. Still working I think.” 

He hands it to Hyunjin. It smells sweet and strong. He downs it. _watermelon_.

“Nice right?” 

Before he can answer a loud bang emits from the living room. His eyes land on the tv, which should be on the wall, now laying on the _floor_.

“Oh, I’m gonna fucking kill him.” 

Hyunjin storms through the hall and shimmies his way through the crowd of people to give Jisung a piece of his mind. 

Jisung beats him to it. “ You don’t mind if I set this up do you? By the way, you missed it” 

He’s not even giving him a chance to speak. He’s busy fiddling with the cords of the Playstation. Hyunjin’s not sure if he was drunk or just didn’t care.

“Yo, you should’ve seen it. It was so epic. Chan was bench pressing this girl. Like a whole person.” Okay so both. “You think I can get someone to do that to me? I’m small enough.” 

Hyunjin backs away, leaving Jisung to his own devices. Changbin eyes him with pity.

“God, please just get me another drink.” 

*

  


Two hours later and Hyunjin is _wobbly_. He can’t sit still and he has weird nervous energy running through him.

“Hyunjin!” A shrill voice calls out his name. 

Before he can even register what’s happening, a warm body launches into him immediately. He catches Heejin with one arm before they both face plant into the ground.

He and Heejin shared a major so they had plenty of classes together. He knows she’s not a big drinker and is always pretty chilled, but when it rains, it fucking _pours_. 

“You’re so nice for throwing a party. I’m so glad the semester is over” Heejin beamed excitedly, seeming not to have realized he’d caught her.

“I didn’t really have a choice” He tells her, shrugging her off but making sure she’s secure.

“Oh you poor thing” Heejin laughs in understanding. 

“Sorry about her” A voice came up from behind Heejin, pulling her up straight. A girl emerged from behind her, smiling apologetically at him.

“Oh it’s alright. She’s one high energy drunk” Hyunjin nodded at the girl, who’s looking as tired as ever. In fact she looked asleep.

“Oh, this is my friend Jisun” Heejin grinned, petting at her head. 

He smiled in acknowledgement and she waved at him politely and the two of them were gone before he could offer them any refreshments. 

“Heejin’s plastered. Well that’s how you know it’s a party.” Changbin’s voice startles him. He’s grabbing a snack from the kitchen cupboard, fumbling when he can’t get the door shut again. Hyunjin helps. “Do you know the other one?”

He’s about to answer when he realizes why she looks so familiar when he hears a distinct laugh coming from the lounge area. A familiar sound he can’t miss even over the noise, and his eyes snaps up in the direction.

Minho was slouched against the couch, face brighter than Hyunjin has ever seen, and as endearing as that was he found his attention directed more towards the guy between his legs with his head thrown back in between Minho’s lap and even _more_ at the way Minho’s hand was cradling his face and the other hand carding through his hair.

He thinks he’s seen him around campus somewhere. Probably.

He finds himself irritated with the _horribly_ distracting way Minho was smiling. Like- like _that_? With _that_ guy?? And he was not- he _definitely_ was not jealous. Because that would be crazy. Like literally insane. He’s about to look away because what the fuck. what the fuck. When Minho’s eyes catches his and he has this expression that Hyunjin has never seen on his face before and his stomach drops. 

The air between them is thick with something Hyunjin recognizes, but isn’t sure if he should acknowledge. Neither of them have the gall to break eye contact. He stares at them from the counter and he stares at Minho’s hand still brushing through the fucker’s hair and he can’t stop staring and he’s _still_ staring. Goddammit. And it’s _awkward_. Why is it awkward?

Minho obviously got tired of their little staring match though and went back to whispering something into that moron’s ear and fuck this. It’s too loud and he’s too sloppy and too drunk to deal with this. He needed some air. 

* * *

A beat. A minute. A second. How long would it take for Minho to realize he was no longer there. Probably never, given the fact that he was so occupied just a minute ago.

The door opened and Minho found Hyunjin kicking at the leaves that has made their way over to the balcony, gracing him with his awful presence.

“Can I join you?” Minho asks politely, but Hyunjin just shrugs, not bothering to look at him.

“You should come back. It’s not the same without you.” Minho’s voice is sharp. He is and he isn’t talking about the party.

It’s silent for too long. Like they’re both trying to read each other’s auras. Waiting for the other to break. It reminds him of when they first met. It reminds him of lately, before all _this_ , moments when their hands brush or when he reaches out and he can sense and see Minho holding back- and since when has he _ever_ done that? Sometimes these moments come close to being something tender. It makes him feel exposed, like an open wound with the bone naked and bare. It dawns on him that Minho might be aware that there’s much more going on. He was very perceptive like that that after all. But that’s something that scares him shitless and he’s not equipped or sober enough to explore that thought right now. 

Minho’s voice shakes him out of his thoughts.

“I can leave you alone if you want.” It feels like a threat. 

Okay so they’re doing this now.

“Right. Because you have better things to do” Hyunjin spits back, gesturing to the clusterfuck inside the apartment.

“Are you feeling left out?” Minho has the gall to say, and he’s pulling no punches.

No. ...Maybe. _Yes_. A small part of him tells him that he needs to continue that line of thought, and that it leads to somewhere important, but he shoves it back down.

“Why would you care?” Hyunjin replies, ignoring the satisfaction in Minho’s eyes when he turns to answer him.

At that Minho glances towards him, his skin doing a fickle dance under the moonlight. 

“Where do you get off, exactly? Is this about Dae-won? We were close in high school. We’re catching up. You should meet him, actually. He’s great” Minho explained, his voice leveling out. 

“Everyone is pretty close with you these days.” Okay, maybe that was a cheap shot. He almost apologizes but- no. Minho started this shit. 

Well Minho doesn’t even look the slightest bit offended with that statement. In fact he looked… _devious_? 

“Hyunjin.” Minho says, like he’s testing out the word, his eyes going soft. Hyunjin’s frown doesn’t budge but he’s wavering. “If you want something, you should _ask_ for it.” Well, shit. Yeah- wait. what ? 

“There’s no need to get embarrassed.” 

He wants to say something about that, he doesn’t know _what_ , but something like _desperation_ clogs his mouth and he falls silent. His brain can’t register what just happened. 

They’re both waiting for the other to do something. Playing this silly little dance again. Sirens wailed in the distance, streetlights and headlights twisted in the darkness, the visions distorting and restoring itself again and again, in their eyes and on their faces. The noise seems miles and miles away though. 

Hyunjin feels himself swallow.

Minho, stupidly, looked at Hyunjin like he was asking for fucking _permission_ , which like aforementioned is _stupid_ , because Hyunjin wants to tell him to fuck off, except he doesn’t. Because what he does instead, is catch Minho’s mouth in a kiss.

Minho's tongue invades his mouth, hot and wet as it pushes against his own. Hyunjin moans and Minho is relentless, licking at Hyunjin’s mouth and slipping his tongue inside all slow and careful. Running his tongue over everything, including his teeth, like he’s looking for something. Like he _misses_ it.

Hyunjin’s skin is buzzing with interest, with longing, with booze and with need. Minho’s mouth is warm on his own. He has both hands cupping his face and he pulls off him and lowers his mouth to kiss at his throat and it makes Hyunjin feel rootless. Minho bites down and Hyunjin grinds his teeth, pulling at Minho’s hair. Hyunjin hates how hard he already is.

He feels sloppy. Like Minho is soothing this ache that’s bone-deep and exhausting. He’s not sure if he’s really drunk anymore, all he knows is that this pent up frustration is finally leaving. 

Hyunjin grabs at Minho’s mouth. Desperate. Looking for something deeper. Minho eyes him with something dark, like a dog figuring out where to bite first. He kisses back rougher though, giving Hyunjin what he wants. A puppet with no strings. Hyunjin’s hands are all over him. 

The kiss fell apart. They’re pushing and pulling, until they’re just breathing the same air back and forth. Hyunjin is messing this up so bad. But it’s too late now. If it’s gonna be this way, then that’s what it is. He can’t believe how _easy_ -

Hyunjin tore his face away and shoved himself out of Minho’s grip. The frustration is replaced with something nasty and it settles in his gut. Something like shame. Because Minho is right. This is something he wants. 

Hyunjin is hiccupping through his breath, panting. He can taste stomach acid in his mouth. He feels like he’s about to cry. He’s looking everywhere but Minho.

“Fine. I won’t make you say it. I’m not that _cruel_.” Minho is merciless.

And just like that every effort of trying to keep this platonic slips away. Every barrier Hyunjin put up came crashing down, crumbling so fast. Minho has broken through, taking what he wanted, with ease. Because Hyunjin lets him. It felt like it was morphing into something so incredible that’s it was dwarfing every resistance and everything else that he felt. This overwhelming need to be wanted. And Minho wanted him. In whatever sick and twisted aspect, he did. What’s worse is that it didn’t bother Hyunjin at all.

* * *

They must’ve been out on the balcony for longer than he realized. When they head back inside the apartment the worst noise had died down. The music playing softly through the air. Half of the people have already left and the rest are passed out on the couches and a few on the floor. Felix and Jisung are busy setting up the karaoke machine and he does _not_ want to be around for that. The others are chatting around and some have started to play what looks to be a _twister_? He doesn’t know. He can’t be bothered to care right now. Not with the sleazy way Minho’s fingers are tracing over his collarbone.

They stumble into his bedroom and Minho locks the door behind them. He can barely get the angle because Hyunjin is on him immediately. They’re doing this silly little backward walk- still kissing, and Hyunjin shoves Minho down on his bed. 

He sort of crawls into Minho’s lap, attempting to get closer and Minho unbuttons his shirt. Huh. He guesses there’s really no time to waste is there? It’s been a while after all. He’s busy trying to shimmy off the rest of his clothes, when he sort of slides down onto the ground. Not really sure if he’s imagining it or not. The floor is cold.

“What are you doing down there?” Minho teases, and pulls him back up with too-gentle hands.

Before he can even say thank you, he hears a _thud_. He quickly opens his eyes to make sure Minho didn’t hurt himself, but it turns out that wasn’t the issue. He’s kneeling between his legs, pulling at the waistband of his boxers. His cock springs free and Minho takes a deep breath and sank down on him in one deep, wet mouthful. He pulls off entirely and spits, just to sink back down again. Hyunjin feels awake.

His dark eyes met Hyunjin’s, not blinking even once as he moves from the hilt back up to the tip, effortlessly. Hyunjin runs a hand through the hair that’s plastered against his forehead, pushing it away from his face. Brushing past his cheekbone to feel the head of his cock inside of him. 

Hyunjin is shaking as he bucks his hips, making Minho gag. “Wait _fuck_ I’m going to-” Minho’s mumbling something that’s not really words because he has his mouth full but Hyunjin thinks it sounds like “go ahead.” Hyunjin pulls him off his cock with a pop though and rests Minho’s face against his thigh. The string of spit between his bottom lip and Hyunjin’s cock is enough to almost make him bust right there. 

“Not yet” he says, breathless. Minho hums even though he’s not sure he heard him.

He pulls Minho back onto the bed with him, leaving him to take off the rest of his clothes, while he grabs lube from the dresser.

He feels Minho’s eyes watching him as he coats two fingers generously before inserting it into his entrance pumping slowly. He gets a good rhythm going before he feels his fingers being pulled out of him. It’s such an unpleasant feeling that it throws him off momentarily.

“Wh-“ Hyunjin begins but Minho retorts back and says “I know you’re not wearing a top coat, do you really wanna be flushing black flakes out of your ass for the next week?”

“Besides…I’d do it better.”

Hyunjin stares at his hands covered in slick and spit and his black fingernails already chipping with damage. 

He swallows his injured pride. “Fair enough.” 

It’s horrifying how fast Minho manhandles him into a position where he wants him. He intertwines their hands – the _lubed_ hand – and smears what’s left on his fingers.

He lets go and Hyunjin falls forward onto his stomach again. Hyunjin shudders when he feels a finger push past his rim and out again. And again. Two fingers now without really filling him and it’s fucking agonizing. He does it again. Hyunjin feels himself drooling. _Again_.

“Cut it out with the teasing” Hyunjin whines, he’s twitching. _Again_.

“I’m not teasing you. I’m enjoying you” Minho says, crooking his fingers.

“I could care less whether you enjoy it or not.” He sounds like an injured puppy.

A disbelieving little laugh escapes Minho and he adds a third finger. Sinking in deeply. It shouldn't feel this good. It shouldn't, but it does. Hyunjin’s still way too drunk and his brain is all slow and his body is so sensitive right now that he can feel all of it. Every single nerve ending is on high alert and he just fucking short circuits because _holy shit_ \- that’s warm. Minho’s fingers feeling so hot inside of him and it's just - _good_. That's all he can think about. He almost says _neat_ out loud.

Minho pulls out of him and he feels painfully empty. There’s no time to mourn the loss though because he feels Minho’s cock drag against his hole. 

Then Minho sinks into him and just falls forward. “Fuck,” Minho murmurs, his face buried in the crook of Hyunjin’s neck.

A minute passes. Then three. “Dude can you like move?”

“This is nice.”

“What? Me being a _cockwarmer_?”

“No, you _ass_. I think this is what I need. Like just this. I missed you.” 

His stomach drops. Those words? It felt too good to be true. But it’s not. And for some reason it angers him.

He flips them over against the headboard so he can look him in the face. “ _Shut up_.” Hyunjin puts his hands on Minho’s chest and slams down on his cock. Minho curses, and it sounds like it’s being punched out of him. “ _Shut up_.” 

He fists one hand into Minho’s hair to use as leverage while he fucks himself harder. He gives back. Not granting him any mercy. Neither of them ever want it.

Minho gives back harder and drives his hips into Hyunjin’s heat. Hyunjin’s almost sobbing now. It’s the worst kind of revenge. He hates it. He hates this person who just knows all of his unspoken demands. Minho presses two fingers down his throat in attempt to shut him up and he gags. He’s guessing it’s payback for earlier. He hates how he doesn't mind.

Hyunjin tilts his head, parts his lips, and invites Minho to take him over, to use him freely. His tongue skims over the fingers in his mouth. It’s muscle memory. He bites them.

Minho hisses and shoves against his gums, before he pulls out and it’s dripping. And filthy. He’s rubbing it all over Hyunjin’s face. 

“What? You like it really wet, _right_?” It’s a question that he’s too fucked out to answer. Because Minho _knows_ and he _knows_ and he _knows_. Minho’s gaze burns him, but his dick _likes_ it too much to feel embarrassed.

It hurts so good, the nasty way their hips keep meeting. “Fu-uh-uck” he moans between little punched-out cries.

Hyunjin lifts off just to drive Minho’s cock deeper into his ass, the thick head rubbing along his sensitive bundle of nerves. The drag is so slow it hurts. Hyunjin can’t take it– _and_ – something goes off, quick and blinding, swirling in his head space, like a city blackout suddenly alight with electricity. He’s touching Minho everywhere. 

Minho snaps his hips up and fucks Hyunjin through his orgasm. He spills out over his stomach and he’s still pounding up into him and it’s torturous. Minho laughs and rejoices at that because Hyunjin broke first again, for the second time tonight. _Bastard_. Hyunjin’s cursing and panting because he’s still sensitive and it’s _too much_. He doesn’t watch Minho cum because he has his face buried in his flesh – but he feels it.

Hyunjin pulls off him with a hiccupy moan. It sounds sad. It sounds stupid. Minho’s already cleaning them up with something. He doesn’t know what. He’s too tired to look. He feels more wasted than before. 

Both of them collapse into nothingness. He feels the bed dip and Minho’s flopping onto him, tucking himself against his side. “Are you good?”

No. He was the furthest thing from it.

“Yes.” Hyunjin mumbles, looking up at him and giving Minho an assuring smile.

The noise from the living room seems closer somehow.

For a moment, they are silent. Minho looks away, like he just realized that there’s something very honest about what they’re doing, his face out of reach. It’s just another silent sign of defeat, another hole being burned right through his chest. It’s a feeling he’s grown used to. Something he expects. So overused. So distorted, that it’s beyond pale. Maybe he has even been waiting for it. Vulnerability is cool and all until you realize how much the open air stings you when you’re raw.

  
Whatever Hyunjin feels, whatever _this_ is, he’s too scared to put in into words. A single one. He won’t. He _can’t_. If there was a way to ruin this, then that would be it. None of that matter, not right now anyway. Because Minho is here with him. Here in the moonlight things are simple. Tomorrow they will be less so. With Minho falling asleep against his chest, the realization is daunting. It’s not just some stupid crush. It hasn’t been for a while now. It never _was_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you spot any mistakes. And as always comments and kudos are always appreciated!


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